i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
