I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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