just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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