i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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