I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
