We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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