My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
