Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
