I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
