Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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