it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
