YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
