Sry I called you an 8
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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