I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
