I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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