But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
