Just fell off a train. Bad.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize