...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
