Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
