Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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