why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I love having hate sex.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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