It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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