She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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