I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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