I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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