They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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