he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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