I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
