Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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