cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize