P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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