He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
