If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Terrible idea I love it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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