So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
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Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?