Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize