yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
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Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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