def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
