i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
