It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Less talking, more tequila
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
