I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
