and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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