I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
