i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
