Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
