by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize