yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
