No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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