we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
