I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
