totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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