Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Randomize
