dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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