I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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