I saw his package. It spoke to me.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
