When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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