you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
