the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I touched a dick in church today
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
