its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
