that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
