did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
I can't turn off my feet"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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