Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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