He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
