Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
