look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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