i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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