im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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